Missing You Here

Hi, Bebe....
Tonight i feel so lonely without you
Not that on the other days you are ever here with me
But somehow today is different

Hi, Lovie....the keeper of my heart
Are you missing me too over there?
Or you just enjoying your freedom without me next to you?
Am i that bad Bebe to be with? For it seems we are getting distant

No amount of text or phone calls can appease this feelin inside
Though no sacrifation is ever worth enough to make me loose HIM for you

Hi, Sweetie pie......the one who owns my heart
Lets rejoice these abundant loves for it might not be there when the stake is HIS' blessings
I miss you but i miss HIM more
I love you but i love HIM more
I wish to cross the line to appease these craves, but i am afraid of HIS wraths more than my needs

Hi Baby Bear......
I will let you go if my path is not the one you are looking for to put through like the ones before you

Another Day In Para-Dice

Another Day In Para-Dice

Today is Thursday 24th of May, 2012. The month of rejoice since on this month we Surabayanese celebrate The Anniversary of our city. So we can find many great events to preceed the big day on 31st of May. Too bad due to the number on the calender it is almost impossible for me to participate those events *insert a whining voice here*. Well people in here at these moments are so consumptive that one of the attraction of visiting Surabaya on this month is Surabaya Shopping Festival or SSF. An event that has been waiting for by all the hoarders, shopaholic, consumptive people, goodies grabbers or random buyers since in this month we can spend as little money as we have to get as many as we want to have.

But alas, like i have told you before, the date is quite not supporting for my expenditures. For my salary wont come till the 1st of the month. And using cards are annoyingly out of the equation because i am pledging my oath to stay away to any temptations of the magick cards. Those magick cards that can entice us into the biggest s**tty queen of shopaholic *insert sarcasm here*. While you can be sure that those lovely goodies are not going to stay too long on their beautiful racks *insert another whining here*.

So, goodbye to midnight sales, arrivideci to up 50% discount, selamat tinggal* to buy 1 get 1 free, gooooood byeeee.

In my contemplation, I do realise that my condition is experienced by many people in this awesome city. But somehow this event is always succeed in the greatest color. How come?

Surprise surprise, from the information on KOMINFO JATIM* it is stated that in this II semester, Bank of Indonesia has stated that our economic has grown for about 7 up to 7.25% in which it is lower than the growth in the same semester in the previous year that was only 7.11%. And it is lower than the previous semester in the same year. But the answer of my question for the giant purchase power among my people is laid on the data in the same site that stating the increasement number of the economic growth in my lovely city is the consumptive power of our society. No wonder as much as I see needy or poor people surround me, the consumptive power is still the highest part in playing to our growth's economic. Pathetic right? For us to say we are not able to cover our needs but we keep on purchasing the things that we might not need them. This is the real situation in our city, feels like living in para-dice.


Notes:
* KOMINFO - a site to get the valid information about East Java.
* SSF - an event to quench the needs for any shopaholics to get the best prices for the goodies.
* Selamat Tinggal - Bahasa Indonesia for goodbye.

Inspirational Teachers For My Career - Age Does Not Matter

Age Does Not Matter

Two decades ago i was such a broken kid with nothing in her hands to pursue for the future. With the death of my mother in her age of 40s, it collapsed my plan to build a future in life with her as my centre of the universe. At tender age of 12 I had to stired away the direction of my life from something into nothingness.

These gloomy stages stopped until the day I met my English's teacher. If you were from my era than you recalled clearly that English subject would be given only after a student was in 7th grade. At that time i was so awestruck with the way my teacher taught us. I felt the hollow inside my heart was started to be filled in with a reason to go on with life. That Allah had given me another purpose in life by learning something that in the end would help me in freeing the bars inside myself.

That was the first eyes' opener experience that I got by learning English with *Ibu Cantik. I had to write her name that way because of my short memory's problem. My brain gets mix up easily about faces, names or numbers. But i could tell you all about her. Ibu Cantik who was my saviour in need.

Ibu Cantik was such a prim and proper lady. She exhibited the meaning of dress for success till the end. Maybe that was one of my reasons to respect her besides her ways in teaching. She never underestimated us for not knowing the new things or new vocabularies, though she might loose her patient when we did not submit the assignment without good reason. She gave us the reasons to love this foreign language from her love toward it. Somehow it shown clearly whenever she spoke in front of the class. She was always in time to teach us. No matter it was rain or dry, she would be there to teach us with her regal pose.

At that time I just went gaga with her antics attire; stood in front of the class every single day with a long sleeve button up white starch blouse tucked inside her long skirt. With her straight posture supported by a pair of ankle boots and a twist hair accompanied her appearance, I felt like coming to the stage of *Little House in The Praire movie's set.

And if you thought her appearance would make the naughtiest student wet their pants, it was not wrong. She did give a new meaning of discipline and punctuality. But somehow her antics and straight forward ways in teaching gave me a new hope to be like her. Maybe not in the appearance or teaching, but in the way she gave me new purpose, hope and reason to fight for my future. I wanted to give a purpose for students or people in learning English.

In her senior age, Ibu Cantik was succeed in transfering her positive energies toward a young teen like me. In her profesional ways she gave us her students some insights in life about working with your heart is equal with profesionalism.

Now after some years I learned and made people love English, I felt that my debts to her might not be ble to be with anything. I owed her a lot for my life now. Allah The Merciful did give me a second chance in life to meet an inspirational person like her. Unfortunately my Junior High school now was closed and to trace her whereabouts was a little bit difficult. Though it was not impossible.

And after some times dealing with my profesion, I experienced a stale stage with my amanah. Luckily I met Qq. A young woman from Jombang who gave me a lot of lessons in life as much as someone within my age could give. Qq was a daughter of florist in one of traditional markets in Jombang. With the up and down situation in the market, and 4 siblings including her to support, it was almost impossible to gain everything easily. Thus why she groveled and struggled to get all the scholarship in studying in UNESA while she was working subhanallah.

I met her when she was still in UNESA. She took her lessons there while working herself in the same LBB that i worked with when i took my profesional's hiatus from working in famous English Institution. Qq's beauty might not be as sophisticated lady in appearance like Ibu Cantik, at that time. But they do have a lot of things in common. They love what they do. And they do anything for it. She oozes the willingness to share and cleverness in abundance. So we stick together until now.


For now I just try as much as I could to spread her love toward English and encourage people to love it also. Since with this language i feel free to explore my pains, happiness and dreams though those things might be taboo in Bahasa or in Javanese language.

Notes :
* Ibu Cantik - A beautiful lady
* Little Housse on the Praire - a TV's series by Michael Landon and melissa Gilbert. Its about an American's family life in the 1870s - 1880s.

My Place

Each of us has been born with the gist of life.
Living, eating, socializing and many more can be found in it.
But somehow we manage to corrupt our souls in doing the right paths.
And like the same corners of magnet, we choose the opposan's way to take.

The world that we stand is our place,
The only field to do all the deeds in life,
Goodness or badness is only bout choice,
Though we seem to fall easily to the badness side.

I wish there is a special line to contact HIM to discuss each thing,
I wish HE opens one telephone line to get any solutions,
And I hope, just hope my place is the thing that I can be so proud of when I see HIM,
While in fact....no. My place is as dirty and unkempt as any deserted place. Unwanted, un-needed, discarded regardless what I do.

Is it wrong to feel these despairs?
Is it wrong to cry my hollowness?
And is it right to sell my soul just to refurbish my place?
Is it right to feel free like them? Not thinking bout right or wrong on every step?

Allah Ya Rabb....if killing my soul is not forbidden,
I wish to be granted in killing my blackened soul,
Who always craves the answers of life without feeling the greatness in it.