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Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Anxieties - Belated Post

(((Hear ya hear ya!! March is coming!))) this is one of 2 months that i always feel anxious in a year. Whether i plan it to be relax full, ignorance or just let it by, the anxieties will drop themselves on my head "boink" , they will do like the one in a cartoon movie.
Lemme cut it out now, so i can pile up my anxieties more next time. Yes every March is my birthday. Yes in which the A is going to add up the sum. Yes i am not that worry morry dorry sorry over the white hairs, crows' feet on my forehead, smiling lines or even all those famous gravity theories bout women. Nada. Those are not my worries that in the end caused the anxieties. It is due to my worry in becoming a worse person the more i am older. Especially when you are a spinster (euuuuuy i do not really like the word, its almost like splinter, so painful). and more over if you are Javanese.
In Javanese culture, a spinster is considered as a grumpy ole woman who cant control their tempers due to their un-fullfilled some of aspects in their live. How cruel huh the prejudice. But that is so true. I was grown up while listening those comments toward spinsters. Just like being a spinster is a degrading status lol.
now with those concepts in mind, up to now, i always try to introspect myself every birthday. To ask myself, do i am becoming such a grumpy person like those people said? Do i become ridiculous in my actions? Do i too emotional for any little things that "normal people" never do?
Thus the anxieties come from......

Someone Like You

Never mind if i'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Dont forget me i beg, i'll remember you said
Sometimes it last in love, sometimes it hurts instead

Listening and singing together with Adele in this song is becoming my second favourite activity lately besides reading in Wattpad. This song seems to have the power to enthrall me within its grab. To entice me within the soul. I am so beguile in its power. I have no strength to pull myself from it. Arghhh....Adele i wish i am in a brokenhearted session now, so i can blame my love's story in C.O.T aka crying out loud while playing this song. Too bad lately my hormones are having a sabbatical's hiatus, so it is quite embarrassing when an old ninny like nee gets down and cries over nothing *pose like a damsel in distress* euuuuuy such a yikes condition lol. Well what can i say, it seems when Allah Ya Rabb created nee, there was one circuit between her eyes, brain and mind is being loose over time roftlol. Yups...i am a crier. So do not hesitate in sending me a vacancy of the job as a crier for me anytime.

But tonight I just read how loosing someone that we love whether it is in romance's capacity, family's ties or just even friendship, can be such a devastating moment. So i just realise once again bout this new understanding. Lost and pains are BFF, in the end they will call tears to accompany them to make the experience merrier than ever. So guys.....if you experience it, you need a shoulder to cry on, do lean on me. i might not be able to help, but at least my ears are wide enough to listen them, do not feel alone lovie...for you are never alone in any conditions.