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Friday, 30 November 2012

This Afternoon

This afternoon as usual after i spent my 'useless time' for nothing i came back to my boarding places. A small place where i can call my home and though they are below the standard of some people incl in my big family but those are mine-not in the sense of ownership but those places are from our own efforts, alhamdulillah. Believe me, accepting the concept of what you have might better than others is like a never ending battle for me. But once again Rabb gave me an eyes opener toward my drama queen's act. In the public transportation  i met a young unkempt mother with her 3 toddlers....all of them looked so dowdy, dirty and unkempt. At the first sight astaghfirullah.....i am ashamed...i was sooo judgmental over the situation. Starting from blaming her in letting herself to get 3 children if she cant support them -how snob was i huh? who am i to judge they are not happy with the conditions- what kind of husband that she has not to protect his family in all  the senses. Gosh i was so hoity toity....then i realized. That picture was given by Rabb to make me forget my problem. ,That my sadness, my bluest, my depression are N.O.T.H.I.N.G compare to them. How grateful i am now to have a place as luxurious as i have with an income that me and my sister can find, with our health, with our abilities to share Ya Allah....forgive my arrogance, forgive me in seeing dunya sometime as my highest kursy....while Your kursy is what i have to fight and get for?