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Monday, 22 October 2012


Attending a wedding ceremony usually is going to be a hard thing for me. Not due to the enviousness but due to the burden from the society. In my culture when you are a single woman above the normal age to get married you will be considered as; a) an ambitious woman if you are a worker, thus why you dont want to be tied down, b) a picky lady for not being able to accept any kind of men because your criteria is too high, c) all those two reasons before. Somehow these judgements will be stamped on you like a cow in the farm just because you are a single woman and your age is above the average age of married women in Indonesia. But come back to my 1st sentence in here, last Sunday i came to one of the ceremony. Just to show my respect toward the bride who is my work mate-at least until this 1st of November she is my workmate.

I came with a good idea bout how is married's party in Java. Full of rituals, full of the symbolic acts and the combination between religion, culture and the habit in the area. Most of the time the ceremonies are combination of those 3 plus the extravagant efforts from the families whether they are as the guests or the hosts. Somehow these things are not my cup of coffee. Since i always see and think marriage as a sacreed union where Allah will bless all the prayers from all the participants for the better future of the bride and the groom, in which 7 angels will witnessing the procession while giving their prayers* but somehow my way of thinkings are different from many people. They apply many rules in the wedding ceremony that i feel clouding the real essense of marriage vows.

Am i being critical, judgemental or purely just being a bi*tch? Wallahu allam bissawab....nee is a mere human right? And i also havent put myself in that situation before. Can i follow my ideal ways or will i be overruled with the same things like most people? Will i forego the haq to win the 'right' in human's world or stay on my own understandings.....que sera sera what will be will be.

Notes :
* This is the understanding that i got so far, when the groom says the oath in front of the wali, 7 doors of haven are being opened to let 7 angels down to be the witness in the exchange of the sacreed words. Do correct me if i am wrong.