I just read a comment in one of my favourite writers' blogs. In there one of the followers commented bout a relationship. And how awful a relationship can be when both parties are going awry with their directions.
These are the thoughts that have been haunting me lately. Just like a broken faucet in the bathroom. It gives me plick plack plack sounds whenever my eyes are having a strike and dont want to sleep like at this moment.
Lately i do realise that i am too clingy to my lover. Well i wish i am not showing it too much or coming too strongly to him, mind you, no man in their right minds are willing to be hound by an amazon lady, though she is only 1.48 m. I repeat it again NO....ONE.
Showing my heart, devotions, and loves to him, actualy is just another way to put me in 6' under the ground....thats what i always feel when i broken up in my relationship. Not that i am thinking bout killing myself or something so noble like a harakiri. Nooooo, i am too coward to meet My Maker by breaking HIS rules. What i mean is more to the way i "kill" any relationship with my own deeds. Just like the song from Queen, Too Much Love Will Kill you, though in my case it is in a roundway bout.
Sooo after reading those words and comments, i feel i do get a revelation. Like everything is meant to be sheeeesh......what i mean, then i do realise some things:
1. Relationship is never for me. I get confuse with the rules and regulations of it. The words/acts that we can or couldnt do are so confusing. Thats why i even think that all of these are a big conspiracy toward nee. That all single people in pre-world life ever had a special training in heaven with all the text books and the slides to give them a lesson how to start, have and enjoy a relationship. And guess what? I did not join it. Maybe they just forgot to invite me puuuufffhhh....
2. Showing too much love toward your lover is a big no no, especially if you are a woman, and last time i went to the bathroom, i was a woman soooo....i must not overdo it.
3. Asking their whereabouts are just not only showing your concerns and attentions. But mostly you are starting to be like a warden tries to shackle your "capture" euuuuy no wonder i never have a long lasting lover. But nooooo, my first lover dumped me since he is soooo afraid his family found out how many pierces that i have lol, my second one is...aih aih....spilling the beans nee???? Silly gal.
Now come to the last question, by writing these thoughts, do i understand something? Noooooo. Do i able to sleep???? Noooooot yet.....lol.