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Wednesday, 16 January 2013


Two days in a row i woke up at midnight. If in the movies or stories the heroes or the heroines are waking up suddenly from their beauty sleeps in a beautiful poses but i was and am always wake up in a fish outside of the pond pose. With a thirst feeling and parch lips that i cant quench by drinking some dainty sips of water lol.

Last night i woke up from a bad dream. A kind of nightmare for me. I was in a big ship and saying goodbyes to people that i couldnt see the faces. I dont know who they are but nonetheless i felt the betrayal and some losts. And the ship moved on while i stood on the rail *noooo, not to jump over the rail and suicide* gosh lovies this is not a horror movie laaaa. Then i looked at the murky water. Subhanallah.....water is problem in the real life. Subhanallah.....wallahu allam bissawab.

But i could blame it on my uneasy feelings and uncertainty stage that i had last night with a situation i have.

And tonight, i dreamt of riding a roller coaster. Hmmm you might think that i will feel happy with the chance of experiencing it in a dream. The rush of the wind, the tight grips on the holder, and mostly the adrenaline. But you forget one lil tinny winny fact, in both dreams they are representing my phobias. I am afraid with water and height. Duh Gusti......sampun, kulo nyuwun pangapunten (Dear Lord...i ask for Your forgiveness). Dont give me a nightmare tomorrow bout knife. For then my small lil heart might burst out combustively without ado. Ya Allah Ya Rabb, what is my wrong doing? Did i accidently or intentionaly hurt Your creatures? Astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah, do forgive me please?