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Saturday, 8 January 2011


I have known my friends in the office since the first day of my working. We have shared everything,from loosing a boyfriend, being rejected by someone, being stabbed by someone close by, loosing babies, realizing no chance in having babies, being left by a father and many other trivial and menial things also. In all those things, we always stick together to see it through. But now, when i am the one in the end of the receiver, to get a help, to get a lifebuoy....hmmm its damn difficult. Its humbling me, to show how "poorly" is my condition. How nee is on the edge of the edges.

Actually, the knowledge that i need all the supports and helps from others, are not something new for me. But opening up to others and showing your vulnerable side, arghhhhhh......believe me, its so embarrassing, since it means *in my lil head* that i am such a creep.

Funny how today, all those things that i have in mind, do not matter anymore. Seeing first hands, how my friends and family try to be persistent in their decisions, while i try to avoid it, finally make me tired.....for the love of all; my Nanny, family, best friends, me, and my Baby....i will go to find a help. I will try to make it through....with the bless of ALLAH Subhana Wa Ta Allah.


  1. Nee;
    I once contained all my emotions, never telling anyone of my trials and tribulations. When things were bad for me, they had no idea of what my pain was about. Now, I choose to let others know of what I am feeling, (those that I feel have some reason to know), so that they can understand why I do, or do not do, things as they may choose to do them. When I must appeal for help, they understand why I am asking.
    It makes my life better.
    I pray that I know of your place in life, so that one day I am not given a surprise that I did not expect. We who are in your circle of friends have a need to know of the condition of one whom we have chosen to have in our lives.

  2. be the recepient of those loves, times, energies, supports and helps do overwhelmed people, much less half person like me lol, seeing my petite self, its okay to say i am half pint person, yes?
    Somehow i just want to dig my hole deeper and awake when everything is done, without my knowing. But i cant right? Just give me time, thats all that i ask....thats all that i ask.
    Knowing you, reading me like an open book is an earth shattering experience Mon Chere.....J'taime....merci.


lets share what we know......insyaAllah it will bring You more knowledges