They Say

They say.....i say.....
They tell....i telll.....
Basically every aspect in life has two sides of the coin.
It depends on which side will you hold dear

And though it is dear....will you let it go for a better side?
well you must, for live is dynamic, its not a static

Move on if you think it is the right one
Hold on if you know it is the best one
Whatever you choose just let Him guides you
For i wont be here as much as He is

Things For My Babies

Babies, life is never easy for everyone, but a girl will always faces some difficult moments.
The moments will come to your life whether you like it or not, whether you are ready or not.

I faced my battles and fights without any guidance.
I cried my crying wars without any exemplary roles.

But, you are not alone lovies, for i am here for all of you.
My battered soul is here for you to use.

When the pains of maturity are striking you, put your head high, for i will hold your back.
When the pains of pettiness from others are too much, use my strength to build up your defense.
When the broken hearts are tearing you up, do not cry lovies, they are just simply not the right one, for i am sure your right one is there in the corner when you are ready.

I may never reach a motherhood due to my lack of ability, but do use me as your shield like a mother should be. use me like a diary, as you feel it worth. I am here lovies, if you need me, never feel alone and lonely.
For Allah ya Rabb creates this beautiful earth-ardhun as your playground, with all your beauties as the interiors.

So never let anything make you down lovelies, never.....

Note – I uploaded this mumble jumble 7 months ago in wattpad, I upload it here now due to a bully story that I just read….hope no girl out there must face some bullies by herself.

http://www.wattpad.com/4278330-things-for-my-babies

Missing You

Hi You, i miss You. I cant say anything because it might degrade what i feel inside. But i miss You. Whether You are here or there, the feelings are still the same. I miss You. No other excuse or explanation, i.miss.You. My heart is barreling out to say "i miss You."
And, do You miss me like i miss You?

Hatiku Kosong

Ya Allah Ya Rabb-ku
Hambamu bertekuk lutut di hadapan-Mu
Dengan segala kebingungan hati ini

Ya Rabb....
Ini hati Kau titipkan pada tubuh yang Kau pinjamkan ini
Sungguh rentan Ya Allah....hamba terseyok

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami
Andai ada toko tukar tambah yang Kau buka 24 jam 365.5 hari
Ingin rasanya hamba pergi kesana tuk menukarkan hati busuk hamba-Mu dengan yang baru

Ya Rabb Pemilik Segala Isi...
Ingin ku berdoa tukarlah hati hamba dengan sebongkah hati yang lebih kuat hingga saat Kau panggil nantinya


Since there is a request from someone that i hold dear in my heart bout the upload into English...so here it goes, though it might not fulfilling enough since translating Bahasa into English needs more understanding and knowledge in which i dont admit to have...bismillah..

My Empty Heart


Ya Allah Ya Rabb
Your servant is kneeling down in front of You
With all the confusions in her heart

Ya Rabb....
This is the heart that You left to be taken care of by this fragile body that you lent it to me
Ya Allah....this servant of Yours is stumbling

Ya Allah Ya Our Lord
Were there an exchanging store that You open for 24 hours 365.5 days
This servant of Yours will wish to go there to replace this rotten heart of her with the new one

Ya Rabb Ya Haqq of the all ...
Wish to pray to exchange this lame heart of Your servant with a stronger heart till the day You call upon her name in the later days.

I and i

If you are a kind of person who pays attention toward diction you might raise your eyebrows for the way i am writing in this blog, actually in daily basis i also write like these lol. And somehow i have a small little hope that someone or some readers might be brave enough to ask my reason in foregoing all the diction rules in writing sheeesh *borrowing Frankie's expression, back to my topic. I write this blog as a way of running away from any censorship by showing or sharing my way of thinking. Everything is with a special reason from me. Though it sounds so full of myself in stating what i am thinking and belief, but i beg you differ, this is my secluded place of myself to be me, nee. Without feeling worry to be censored, reprimanded, or even mocked by my acquaintances or friends or family or even foes lol.

But honestly i do have a lil tinny bit of hope someone will ask or even dare to talk bout my diction, and finally last night someone that is dear to me *i dont mention who incase it will create un-easiness* said that the way i write my - i - is somehow maybe referring to my way of thinking bout myself, maybe? Though he does capture my way of writing not from the blog but from our daily emails. And how right it is. Though it is not 100% right. I write it that way because in myself i disagree how English put i in a capital way, while in Javanesse we must put others in a highlight of importance in the way of addressing or writing. Besides that i never feel that i am important enough to be put in a capital. Well yes i got a thought to be thought that i cant mix the Javanesse essence's way of speaking and writing with English. Its not like nasi campur - mix rice one of my fav food. Its a big no no to mix those 2 cultures lol. Well at least i know that one of my readers is paying attention enough to correct me and put me in the place. I hope others are willing to do the same......

nee

more or less this is how you can imagine Nasi Campur - mixed rice with some side dishes though i only choose this simple things on my plate.

Green Is Nee

Hi i am nee....i am addicted with green colors

Merkunyik

Here is the cat that has been capturing my heart on his lovely paws for some months. Yes Lovies....You are right. He is a cat, but do not get it wrong. Merkunyik is a tough cat. This stray cat came in front of my boarding room's door one day. He came with all his scratches, wounds and bruises that were taken from his personal wars. Yes, living in the street is a tough world, but he makes it folks. He is a survival. He came in his limped state, thin and coarse furs. And suddenly i fall in love with him. He brightens up my days.....i think now i do experience by myself that having a pet especially for a single person or sick people will lengthened their ages and reduce their stress. It is true alhamdulillah....*saying like a great testimonial person in ad*

Unfortunately, my love to him is not followed by his feelings. Yes he is coming to my sister and me for meals, but never for cuddles huwaaaaaa *picturing lil ole nee cries please* he doesnt want to be cuddle. He likes our touches but not so much. Maybe it is related to his manly vigor or whatever *rolling the eyes* Then 2 days ago we were soooo surprised, he came to our door, did not want to go out and slept for 15 whole minutes on our place *dancing for a victory* so these are his poses. So humiliating for his manly vigor, but at least i can feel relax since he cant open this blog. For i have not invited him yet lol.....