The Heart's Games

Most of women do fall in the category of using their hearts more than their brains. But is it true? Is it true that heart and mind are the privilege of women? I do not think so. As long as i life on this janah, i have stumbled upon the opposite one. Women can be so fragile and dependent creature but in fact they are more calculative in any cases above men. Do you think that is not using the brain? Hah. It is using the brain. And only a beguile man will be so proud in saying women are not a creature with a brain.

I am not writing this referring to myself, nope. It is more to the surrounding. How in many cases women are the one who did the thinking but then they infuse it to the men so they can keep their men macho-ism and in the end those men can feel powerful enough. And only smart people can do it that way -finding a way and infusing it to others and posing so lola-subhanallah.

But that is not my aim in writing this upload. My intention is to show that heart mostly is the place where we deal with everything and anything. WHile most Ulama say that in our hearts each of us can find our Rabb's Spot, but how can we be sure it is Rabb who is speaking and not our ego or our evil side (*sowiiii evil, most of the bad things have been thrown at you, sowiiii). So in here i would ask to all of us to pray to Allah Ya Rabb to guide us into the best choice in every step since as long as the breathe is taken, a decision must be decided inside of our heart. And He is the Only One who can help us to find the truth.

• يامقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك Yaa Muqallibal Quluub, Tsabbit Qalbi ‘Ala Diinik'
  
  Meaning: “Wahai Dzat yang membolak-balikkan hati, teguhkan hati kami di atas agama-Mu.”
  
[HR.Tirmidzi 3522, Ahmad 4/302, al-Hakim 1/525, Lihat Shohih Sunan Tirmidzi III no.2792]
• 
  يا مقــلـب لقــلــوب ثبــت قــلبـــي عــلى طـا عــتـك
  'Yaa Muqallibal Quluub, Tsabbit Qalbi ‘Ala Ta'atik'
  
  Artinya: “Wahai Dzat yg membolak-balikan hati teguhkanlah hatiku diatas ketaatan kepadamu”
  [HR. Muslim (no. 2654)] http://beritamuslimsahih-ahlussunnah.blogspot.com/2011/03/mutiara-doa-wahai-dzat-yang-membolak.html

Be Grateful for Whatever It Is

These couple of days i learnt a lot of things bout myself and living on this Janah. Whatever perception we have will always be shake up by Rabb as long as it is not right or The Big Guy just wants to see our strength and endurance. That living is never about how many people you can help or how many good things that you have done or have you reach the target in your life. It is more about Him and always bout Him, The Solely Being. I used to brag in my heart that i am a traveler on His path. Is it????? Nope, zilch, nada......i am still stink with all the sins thus why every thing comes on me, i will always retaliate by asking Him, "Why me? What did i do wrong?"

One of my friends told me that if we are a traveler on His path, in one point then we can feel His presence on every breath we take. That even taking an air in your lung is already an ibadah or a good deed. That everything comes to us wont be accepted wrongly except alhamdulillah astaghfirullah or astaghfirullah alhamdulillah.  

Ya Allah The Most Beloved One, how can i be so ujub and riya with this akal that You lent to me to control my life?

These occurance do teach me a lot....Rabb to be more grateful than what i am now. To be more humble in front of You. Ya My Prophet do forgive Your people in gracing Your name and love. I am not worth it into Your protection but i am too coward to face the wrath of Allah by myself. Do forgive me.

Working With Your Heart

I always feel that Allah  Ya Rabb is working in the utmost wonderful way. And today it has been proven again and again. It is started with my conversation few days ago with my sister. We were talking bout how some people do not feel the beauty of their life and only complain about everything. At that time we were just stated that mayhap it is due to the different standard for each of us in seeing our own life, achievements and failures. I mean lets face it we do have our own ways in viewing those things. And those ways will lead us into how we judge our self. And this morning i was seeing a different example of that case. How you see yourself is going to be your downfall or your up-fall.

This morning i met someone that in my eyes are so perfect. She is beautiful to the tip of her toes, charming, soft-spoken lady from the uptight upbringing with all the branded things on herself and her bag. But she complained about everything. Starting from her zero size, her kiddies, her driver, her boring life and everything. And i was like in a gaga pose. Since it is like the scenes were being played by Rabb to give me another example bout life. When we think bout those menial things more than the portion, those will lead you astray till kingdom's come. But when you can find the essential things in life to guide you to Him, everything will follow behind. But like i ever wrote before my lovelies, whatever or whoever He is in your eyes and life, just make it sure it is only One and The Only One. So you wont stray away.....

Thus why working with our heart in retrospection or contemplation are highly recommended by nee. Trust your heart my lovelies....insyaAllah it will lead you to the right path.  

Musashi

http://books.google.co.id/books/about/Musashi.html?id=FWNor84X_vQC&redir_esc=y

I have read this book when i was still 11 or 12 years old. And somehow his story captures my heart till now. I may not have the power in reading the whole books (it has some series i believe it is about 4 bulky books) in my age now, because i know already how sad it is. But i still love it. Only if.....all the history can be put in a great book as such this one.

From My Man...........

Every girl has their own kind of man to be waited for, to be longed for or to be cherished upon. And since i am also in the kind of girl criteria or mayhap a woman, i do also have that dream man to be hold to. And my kind of guy is never so much can be said or mentioned except one and the utmost thing, he must be a man hahaha seriously lovie as much as the words are full of jokes for obvious reason, but those words BE A MAN do have a lot of meaning for me. It has many implications that mere men wont be able to hold their shoulders straight when they are facing the whole meanings of those simple words. And alhamdulillah Rabb always bless me in seeing those kind of men in my previous years before i choose and found this lovely soul that i never hoped or even dare to wish to have. Yes i did have my moments in breaking hearted *rolling the eyes who havent huh?* but somehow those guys are giving me another facets of life that i took as a lesson in life. Yes, it was world shattering when it happened but life goes on and for sure when it is not the one, then it wont be happening. Lets face it my lovelies, living on this world without those sparks of love, jealousy, intricts etc then it wont be a life.

And back to my present state, i wont say that my man and i will be living in happily ever after, thats a bulls**t that has been sewn into our brains by this materialistics world to drown the real essence of live. To make people feel nothing when "fake" happiness arent able to be reached by them. In the end they will drive themself into nothingness creature that has been moulded by the world in which they join in creating. So funny how a creator -i dont mean Him The Sole Creator, but the creators of this havocs that we call modern life, materialistics world, advance world etc- can succumb so low under the feet of their own creations.....subhanAllah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah.

Am i too much of a silly chit my lovelies? Well, that is not what my aim in here. In here i just want us to see the real reason in living on this janah. Since those mission, vision and value are the base of your way in dealing and guiding your life. You dont have to bring religion if that is not your cup of coffee, but use your braniac brain that you hold dear more than anything. Are you able to synchronise the whole mission, vision and value of your life with whatever you are doing right now? If not, please retrace back to your core self. Do something to communicate within yourself. Live is too precious to waste away for a failure act. Approach this living based on your liking my lovelies, for He is there in the shape of whatever it is you are seeing Him. I call Him Allah Ya Rabb. Some of you might call Him as money? Happiness? Family? Whatever it is, it is Him for you. And these kind of lines are the one that makes me fall in deep in love with my man. He can bring serious topics into my strawberry brain. He sees something in my strawberry shrubs with all those monkeys. And he is willing to take my hands together to face the uncertainty of live with all the bleakness and the raging wars inside our souls.

Bismillah Raminku.....lets Allah Subhana wa Ta'alla guide us into a better mankind, amien.

Repeatition

Do any one there dislike disco? The sweat glistening bods under the blink blink lights...no do not use an advance imagination my lovelies. Please bring your grey cells in your brain to imagine one of the famous scene of Saturday Night Fever by John Travolta or Xanadu by Olivia Newton John. Goooosh what music they created *insert amazing tone pwease* And as 1 of the women born in 70s nee is a biggie fans of those shaking the dearie music hihi. It does not mean i favour disco more than others naaaa. But somehow once in a while when my ears stumble with a lovely rhythm of disco, directly my mind creates a disco hall from the M-vie and seeing my lithe bod jumping up and down to the music. And moving my hands crazilly. Not that i will do it in the real life unless my brain really deserts me to the loconess.

And today i had a chance to download this song that has been played repeatedly in my brain. Its a song from David Gueta - Titanium. And well lovelies just like the vid of Harlem Shake. I was jumping up and down in my imagination. And the song has been played many times till now.  

And somehow the intro is reminding me about The Police - Every Breath She Takes 

Talking, Talking and Once Again Talking

Somehow tonight i did it again to go by cabbie alone at night. After some times avoiding the usage of cabbie at night and alone, tonight expi was like a challenge in itself. A challenge that this lil ole nee usually put on herself just to prove nothing except that being alert and tawakkal are better than avoiding it entirely and hiding under the rocks of fake security. Okay enough with hitting around the bush. It is referring to my last year expi in having a verbal abusement in some cabbies just because i am a woman *not that i plan to do the changing in the next future or ever* but somehow just because you are a woman, alone and in a cabbie then it is a great target to be mocked, bullied or abused by sexual innuendos. Hufft where the hell those drivers were raised to? And most importantly where were my brain and alertness at those times? Definitely they left me dry and die. I was left in panic state that i even forgot i could stop anywhere and changed cabbie. Or i could call my male folks or friends. But as usual when my brain chooses a time to freeze and sparse, it really does perfectly in the most glorious way. So there i was, in a cabbie, with a pervert driver and couldnt think, but those expi were in the past. Better to bury them for nothing can change the past right? But future, now that is a different way....so thus why tonight expi.

Actually I was a lil bit shock in listening the part of the story from the drivers' point of views. This nice ole driver told me many ballad stories from his own understanding as one of the senior drivers in the company. Starting from how low is the commission as a driver, since the company usually puts around 15% of commission from the fee. But in the fact from the beginning of the company in Surabaya, the commission is only 12% up to now and even in some companies it is about 9% of it. Is it true? Wallahu allam bissawab. It is mainly the same when the price of a plate of lunch was about Rp. 1.500,- and now the price is increasing exorbitantly into Rp. 10.000,- per plate. And as romantic as it is, money is always the last lid of the coffin in life.

And based on this driver story, he tried to give a good argumentation why i got my expi in the past. It was and still is due to the lack of attention from many Cabbies' Companies in taking care the welfare of their drivers that in the end one of the impacts was like what i got. Being harassed sexually without any tool to avoid it. Are you confused my lovelies? Yes me too. This is what i grab from the cabbie's driver rambling. In the most desperate condition of their life, a cabbie driver is doing many things just to stay afloat in this hard life; tapping the argo to the extreme so they get good money from the pittance commission, drive carelessly just to be fired and move on with a different job, or being frustrated and channeled it to the customers. My expi was including in the last part. So everything is about the money and all the caching caching in life. But is it true as he said? Just because you lack of money than you molest women in your job? I was about to ask this nice and humble driver, "Is it okay if your wife or daughter is being molested verbally by others? Seeing he tried so hard for me to understand that as a passenger, my welfare is considered below the drivers in the eyes of the companies. Why? He said again that nowadays most of the companies lost their drivers, so pampering and foregoing the mistake of the drivers are one of the way to make them happy and willing to work within the company. And that even all the cabbies' companies in Surabaya will not stomp the drivers' ego because the companies dont want to loose a driver anymore. And although now their welfare is starting to be taking seriously by the company such as giving; 25 kg of rice per month, winning competition every month with a hefty sum as the compensation, higher commission etc but once again based on this very resourceful driver, people already fed up in working as a cabbie's driver.

Amazing how with a flip of His power, i see different side of the story from my expi. It doesnt mean i agree with those frustrated drivers in channeling their problems toward their passangers, but somehow subhanAllah.  

And lets face it lovelies....my story or even the cabbie's driver story were one in a million, so chill out. Just be alert and bismillah hopefully you wont expi like what i did. And hopefully no more sicko drivers who channelling their life's frustation on their passangers....amien