INFERIORITY - a story from the past
Tonight in my miserable corner i remember a good romance story from an Indonesian author Maria A.Sardjono. In that story the heroine concluded and said something that i still remember till now. She said that your ways in treating yourself oftentimes shown up in the opposite ways that others might read it differently, alhamdulillah if it is for a better good and astaghfirullah for a worse part lol. In the book she wrote that in a couple when 1 of them is trying to show attention abundantly it might be a sign that the party does not feel secure with the feelings that the partner has. And somehow i cross check this theory of marketing haha get lost already Lovies? Do not be ya....for up to know i wish to be a great marketer in which i am fail, and good in reading people, somehow not really perfect lol.
So back again with the opposite mirroring *that is what i call for the 1st theory" and the theory of marketing, actually are very much related though the objects and the aims are different. But do not forget that those 2 different cases have only 1 core....happiness. One is happiness in getting a lot of money and the other is happiness in being loved back as much as we love....subhannallah. So what is your path to the main core aka happiness? Let Rahmatan lil 'allamin be your path toward His eternity happiness. Wallahu allam bissawab.
Wednesday, 26 December 2012
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
The Hollow Inside
Sometimes in our life we feel like there is a big black hole that is blocking our universe, though it only resides in our heart, in our mind, or only in our imagination. But that hole can eat us alive if we do not do anything. Then how? How to close it? By sewing a piece of cloth over it? Naaa, it is not a tear on your clothes. By sticking some glued paper? Well can not since it is not a kite. By welding it with some metal object? No kidding lovies.....this is not a machine. And you just have to talk to Him....asking Him to help from this greyish area......like what i have now.
Demi Waktu
Setelah sekian lama berbahasa Inggris, sungguh kali ini saya ingin mencoba menulis berbahasa Indonesia. Terasa janggal saat menuliskan kata "saya" karena tampak terlalu baku. Tapi bila saya ganti dengan "aku" akan terasa terlalu sksd "Sok Kenal Sok Dekat" lol. Okaaay bismillah....
Hari ini seharusnya hari yang menyenangkan karena biarpun libur sudah menjadi suatu yang "membahana cethar bagi setiap orang" tapi bagi saya selalu istimewa. Karena hanya di hari libur, mba mengijinkan saya menentukan menu makanan dan meminta apapun yang saya minta *grinning evilly* Dan hari inipun tiada yang berbeda. Sayangnya, Hapit harus mengambil hadiah karena telah memenangkan sebuah lomba wa wa wa dari sebuah tabloid yang cukup ternama. Dan kami harus mengambilnya di sebuah Mall besar disini.
Acara diberitahukan akan dibuka mulai pukul 11.00 wib. But o la la.....mereka baru membuka pada saat pukul 12 lebih dengan pembukaan, nyanyian yang tidak begitu hapal dan pembawa acara yang memaksakan diri seperti Barbie bersuara melengking tinggi *gosh forgive me Allah for they are Your creatures also* buuutt saya yang sudah berangkat dengan pemikiran akan melakukan sholat di Mall tersebut dan begitu bertanya kepada pihak panitia dijawab "Maaf Bu, kami tidak tahu dimana mushallanya." Saya sedikit kaget. Mereka melihat hampir keseluruhan peserta yang hadir memakai jilbab. Dan mereka memulai acara yang seharusnya dibuka pukul 11, baru mereka mulai setelah pukul 12??? Lalu dimana mereka pikir kami melakukan sholatnya?
Goooosh kebodohan saya yang pertama, mengharapkan pihak panitia mempunyai tingkat ketangkasan yang piawai dalam mengatur waktu.....TIDAK. Mereka tidak saja bertele-tele tapi juga berkesan kurang bisa mengatur waktu dengan baik. Membuat saya berpikir....apakah kita semua begitu meremehkan waktu apalagi bila waktu itu bukanlah milik kita. Hingga pukul 4 tiada tanda-tanda akan adanya pemberian hadiah untuk Hapit....saya datangi pihak panitia dan subhanallah mereka hanya minta maaf karena; kami kehilangan kesempatan sholat tepat waktu, makan siang tepat waktu dll dsb. Sungguh kebodohan yang kesekian kalinya. Ya Allah ternyata kebodohan dan rasa sungkan hanya membawa kita pada titik merugi, merugi yang terbesar adalah waktu.
Demi waktu....
Hari ini seharusnya hari yang menyenangkan karena biarpun libur sudah menjadi suatu yang "membahana cethar bagi setiap orang" tapi bagi saya selalu istimewa. Karena hanya di hari libur, mba mengijinkan saya menentukan menu makanan dan meminta apapun yang saya minta *grinning evilly* Dan hari inipun tiada yang berbeda. Sayangnya, Hapit harus mengambil hadiah karena telah memenangkan sebuah lomba wa wa wa dari sebuah tabloid yang cukup ternama. Dan kami harus mengambilnya di sebuah Mall besar disini.
Acara diberitahukan akan dibuka mulai pukul 11.00 wib. But o la la.....mereka baru membuka pada saat pukul 12 lebih dengan pembukaan, nyanyian yang tidak begitu hapal dan pembawa acara yang memaksakan diri seperti Barbie bersuara melengking tinggi *gosh forgive me Allah for they are Your creatures also* buuutt saya yang sudah berangkat dengan pemikiran akan melakukan sholat di Mall tersebut dan begitu bertanya kepada pihak panitia dijawab "Maaf Bu, kami tidak tahu dimana mushallanya." Saya sedikit kaget. Mereka melihat hampir keseluruhan peserta yang hadir memakai jilbab. Dan mereka memulai acara yang seharusnya dibuka pukul 11, baru mereka mulai setelah pukul 12??? Lalu dimana mereka pikir kami melakukan sholatnya?
Goooosh kebodohan saya yang pertama, mengharapkan pihak panitia mempunyai tingkat ketangkasan yang piawai dalam mengatur waktu.....TIDAK. Mereka tidak saja bertele-tele tapi juga berkesan kurang bisa mengatur waktu dengan baik. Membuat saya berpikir....apakah kita semua begitu meremehkan waktu apalagi bila waktu itu bukanlah milik kita. Hingga pukul 4 tiada tanda-tanda akan adanya pemberian hadiah untuk Hapit....saya datangi pihak panitia dan subhanallah mereka hanya minta maaf karena; kami kehilangan kesempatan sholat tepat waktu, makan siang tepat waktu dll dsb. Sungguh kebodohan yang kesekian kalinya. Ya Allah ternyata kebodohan dan rasa sungkan hanya membawa kita pada titik merugi, merugi yang terbesar adalah waktu.
Saturday, 22 December 2012
My Jilbab.....
Well lovies....tonight i just read a blog that has been given by My Heart. And somehow my fingers stop in one of the uploads about jilbab, hejab, or hijab with the title . Somehow it is related to my previous discussion with one of my bff *insyaallah and lets hope she thinks of me as dear as that* sheeesh back to the topic. Directly my mind goes back to about 23 years ago. When the issue of Jilbab started to be one of the issues in my family and society.
In Indonesia, jilbab in early 80's was a reason to be frowned upon. As a student i often saw a discrimination, insult, degradation, and sometimes mockery on the faces of other people in seeing those great girls who are willing to "fight" for their rights in wearing it subhanallah.
My sister is the 1st woman in my life who wears this Muslimah costume. At that time she was about 17 yo. She studied in a government school that must follow the rules of our government at that time. She could not wear it inside the school vicinity. And the 1st day she started to wear it, she was called by her headmaster to sign some formal forms filled with all of craps that stating that the school does not allow any kind of rebellion's act that the student enact in following her religion's belief. The school will not hold any kind of responsibilities for the female student who wears it bla bla bla. Some of these female warriors were going to the courtroom to get a justice for this silliness but as we could predict. It was a fail case. Those female students must quit from the school or they must let go the Jilbab. Four of them choose to quit from that "wonderful school" and moved to Islamic private schools. Such a sad moment for all the Jilbabers, since based on my sister story, the pressure was so hard. Mockery from peers and teachers were such a constant activity. Common joke from all people toward the Jilbabers was giving in a salam but they used it in their snickering tone. So the people mocked the great words *reminding me bout our discussion just now with Schatz-ku bout how joke's perception of us can hurt other people*of salam and the Jilbabers will still reply in a good intention of giving them doa...subhanallah. Subhanallah...it was happening in a country that most of the people is Islam. So where is the tolerant and understanding?
Then afterward 3 years after this event, i started to follow her step since i was thinking that the situation was starting to be under control. Unfortunately it was not true. The first day i wore it, the security hold me back in entering the school vicinity. I must wait outside the gate and wait for my headmaster to come. Well they didnt treat me like a criminal but definitely as a pariah lol. I even can picturing myself standing outside my gate and holding the bars with my tinny fingers tightly like a refugee hahaha *infuse the sarcasm please* And since it is Indonesia soooo the headmaster was coming quite late. He reprimanded me because i did not follow the rules by contacting him first when i choose to wear Jilbab. Somehow i was a lil bit aghast in hearing the words full of spittle from the headmaster *no wonder my peers called him as a spittle dragon* i just wished i brought an umbrella when he fired his spittle lol. Honestly it was not a happy and cheerful moment but Lovies you do not need to know bout the pains.
And now....after about 23 years of wearing it....i can see back that this is my path. Coming out my jahiliyah state (* read before wearing jilbab, and following this path. It might not be a path full of roses but definitely enjoyable ride. The humiliations, degradation, mockeries, insults and su'udzon insyaallah are being there for a reason.
http://www.al-islam.org/beautyofconcealment/
In Indonesia, jilbab in early 80's was a reason to be frowned upon. As a student i often saw a discrimination, insult, degradation, and sometimes mockery on the faces of other people in seeing those great girls who are willing to "fight" for their rights in wearing it subhanallah.
My sister is the 1st woman in my life who wears this Muslimah costume. At that time she was about 17 yo. She studied in a government school that must follow the rules of our government at that time. She could not wear it inside the school vicinity. And the 1st day she started to wear it, she was called by her headmaster to sign some formal forms filled with all of craps that stating that the school does not allow any kind of rebellion's act that the student enact in following her religion's belief. The school will not hold any kind of responsibilities for the female student who wears it bla bla bla. Some of these female warriors were going to the courtroom to get a justice for this silliness but as we could predict. It was a fail case. Those female students must quit from the school or they must let go the Jilbab. Four of them choose to quit from that "wonderful school" and moved to Islamic private schools. Such a sad moment for all the Jilbabers, since based on my sister story, the pressure was so hard. Mockery from peers and teachers were such a constant activity. Common joke from all people toward the Jilbabers was giving in a salam but they used it in their snickering tone. So the people mocked the great words *reminding me bout our discussion just now with Schatz-ku bout how joke's perception of us can hurt other people*of salam and the Jilbabers will still reply in a good intention of giving them doa...subhanallah. Subhanallah...it was happening in a country that most of the people is Islam. So where is the tolerant and understanding?
Then afterward 3 years after this event, i started to follow her step since i was thinking that the situation was starting to be under control. Unfortunately it was not true. The first day i wore it, the security hold me back in entering the school vicinity. I must wait outside the gate and wait for my headmaster to come. Well they didnt treat me like a criminal but definitely as a pariah lol. I even can picturing myself standing outside my gate and holding the bars with my tinny fingers tightly like a refugee hahaha *infuse the sarcasm please* And since it is Indonesia soooo the headmaster was coming quite late. He reprimanded me because i did not follow the rules by contacting him first when i choose to wear Jilbab. Somehow i was a lil bit aghast in hearing the words full of spittle from the headmaster *no wonder my peers called him as a spittle dragon* i just wished i brought an umbrella when he fired his spittle lol. Honestly it was not a happy and cheerful moment but Lovies you do not need to know bout the pains.
And now....after about 23 years of wearing it....i can see back that this is my path. Coming out my jahiliyah state (* read before wearing jilbab, and following this path. It might not be a path full of roses but definitely enjoyable ride. The humiliations, degradation, mockeries, insults and su'udzon insyaallah are being there for a reason.
http://www.al-islam.org/beautyofconcealment/
Friday, 21 December 2012
When You Say....
The world goes still, so still inside and
When You say You love me
In that moment, i know why i'm alive
When You say You love me
Do You know how i love You?
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Such Wonderful Lyric
Thanks to Uut since she is the one who introduces me with this song and love it till now....there is always a gentle man for each of us lovies.....believe me.
Voice..Voice
I have been realising that women's voice is like a siren sometimes though i do admit there are some voices from my own sex that are quite annoying, but unfortunately the owners of the voice do not realise it lol. Well as long as i am not hearing it too often it is okaaaay dokaaaay hurraaaay. Back to the first line from my writing, i have known it for many years. Well i might be an ignorant if i just say that only some men who think like that. That they are pervert. That they are just trying to find an excuse to blame others while they cant control their carnal thoughts. Until today...when someone said bout it in the most simple and humble way...that i cant ignore it anymore. Ya Allah Ya Rabb do forgive Your humble creation in exhilarating herself in ignorance these years and hiding to her own persistence just to do what she wants to do...astaghfirullah. And do forgive those poor souls men and women who drooled toward this matter, amien.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_parts_(Islam)#Female_voice
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intimate_parts_(Islam)#Female_voice
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