I Want To Hold Your Hands

The title gives the right shouting already......will You?

Socks....It Is A Magick Thing

Socks....Its A Magick Thing

I am kind of person who loves cute things one way or the others. My interest in collecting something in which also the first stone of shopaholic though in a small dose that in the end might end up in compulsive buying or even hoarding was mapped out in the early age of 10 years old. Gosh how i hated my incompetence in seing cutey things before that day but i wish now i am still as naive as before that day.

Just like a slow motion m-vie though definitely not the kind of Fast and Furious kind of movies, one of my buddies approached me and showed me a piece of fragrance paper with cutey pic in the corner. I wish to have the knowledge now how horrible is her act now. *gasping like a fish on the pavement* She that i even already forget her name said that i must buy the piece of cutey from her. And if i wanted to have more than i must buy more so i can exchange with the others collectors *note the sarcasm please* so that was the day when a label as a consumptive buyer has been stamped on my head. I feel like a befallen angel now *grumbling slowly* i do wish to erase that horrifying day in my life's plat but it is impossible. Just like a befallen angel....i stuck stumble and fall in the fake glory of consumptive needs from 1 reason to the others. Like a cancer the spreading is very fast, i was never enough., from collecting silly smell paper into pencil, from books up to the latest one is.....*play the drum in here please* a pair of sock. Now tell me how low can i stumble? I think that is pretty loooow....now you know why most of the tenants of the hell will be women, no pun intended for all the women since i am also one of you...we spent money for nothing while many people need it for essential things in their life subhanalllah.....pray for all of women and all people folks...

They Say

They say.....i say.....
They tell....i telll.....
Basically every aspect in life has two sides of the coin.
It depends on which side will you hold dear

And though it is dear....will you let it go for a better side?
well you must, for live is dynamic, its not a static

Move on if you think it is the right one
Hold on if you know it is the best one
Whatever you choose just let Him guides you
For i wont be here as much as He is

Things For My Babies

Babies, life is never easy for everyone, but a girl will always faces some difficult moments.
The moments will come to your life whether you like it or not, whether you are ready or not.

I faced my battles and fights without any guidance.
I cried my crying wars without any exemplary roles.

But, you are not alone lovies, for i am here for all of you.
My battered soul is here for you to use.

When the pains of maturity are striking you, put your head high, for i will hold your back.
When the pains of pettiness from others are too much, use my strength to build up your defense.
When the broken hearts are tearing you up, do not cry lovies, they are just simply not the right one, for i am sure your right one is there in the corner when you are ready.

I may never reach a motherhood due to my lack of ability, but do use me as your shield like a mother should be. use me like a diary, as you feel it worth. I am here lovies, if you need me, never feel alone and lonely.
For Allah ya Rabb creates this beautiful earth-ardhun as your playground, with all your beauties as the interiors.

So never let anything make you down lovelies, never.....

Note – I uploaded this mumble jumble 7 months ago in wattpad, I upload it here now due to a bully story that I just read….hope no girl out there must face some bullies by herself.

http://www.wattpad.com/4278330-things-for-my-babies

Missing You

Hi You, i miss You. I cant say anything because it might degrade what i feel inside. But i miss You. Whether You are here or there, the feelings are still the same. I miss You. No other excuse or explanation, i.miss.You. My heart is barreling out to say "i miss You."
And, do You miss me like i miss You?

Hatiku Kosong

Ya Allah Ya Rabb-ku
Hambamu bertekuk lutut di hadapan-Mu
Dengan segala kebingungan hati ini

Ya Rabb....
Ini hati Kau titipkan pada tubuh yang Kau pinjamkan ini
Sungguh rentan Ya Allah....hamba terseyok

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami
Andai ada toko tukar tambah yang Kau buka 24 jam 365.5 hari
Ingin rasanya hamba pergi kesana tuk menukarkan hati busuk hamba-Mu dengan yang baru

Ya Rabb Pemilik Segala Isi...
Ingin ku berdoa tukarlah hati hamba dengan sebongkah hati yang lebih kuat hingga saat Kau panggil nantinya


Since there is a request from someone that i hold dear in my heart bout the upload into English...so here it goes, though it might not fulfilling enough since translating Bahasa into English needs more understanding and knowledge in which i dont admit to have...bismillah..

My Empty Heart


Ya Allah Ya Rabb
Your servant is kneeling down in front of You
With all the confusions in her heart

Ya Rabb....
This is the heart that You left to be taken care of by this fragile body that you lent it to me
Ya Allah....this servant of Yours is stumbling

Ya Allah Ya Our Lord
Were there an exchanging store that You open for 24 hours 365.5 days
This servant of Yours will wish to go there to replace this rotten heart of her with the new one

Ya Rabb Ya Haqq of the all ...
Wish to pray to exchange this lame heart of Your servant with a stronger heart till the day You call upon her name in the later days.

I and i

If you are a kind of person who pays attention toward diction you might raise your eyebrows for the way i am writing in this blog, actually in daily basis i also write like these lol. And somehow i have a small little hope that someone or some readers might be brave enough to ask my reason in foregoing all the diction rules in writing sheeesh *borrowing Frankie's expression, back to my topic. I write this blog as a way of running away from any censorship by showing or sharing my way of thinking. Everything is with a special reason from me. Though it sounds so full of myself in stating what i am thinking and belief, but i beg you differ, this is my secluded place of myself to be me, nee. Without feeling worry to be censored, reprimanded, or even mocked by my acquaintances or friends or family or even foes lol.

But honestly i do have a lil tinny bit of hope someone will ask or even dare to talk bout my diction, and finally last night someone that is dear to me *i dont mention who incase it will create un-easiness* said that the way i write my - i - is somehow maybe referring to my way of thinking bout myself, maybe? Though he does capture my way of writing not from the blog but from our daily emails. And how right it is. Though it is not 100% right. I write it that way because in myself i disagree how English put i in a capital way, while in Javanesse we must put others in a highlight of importance in the way of addressing or writing. Besides that i never feel that i am important enough to be put in a capital. Well yes i got a thought to be thought that i cant mix the Javanesse essence's way of speaking and writing with English. Its not like nasi campur - mix rice one of my fav food. Its a big no no to mix those 2 cultures lol. Well at least i know that one of my readers is paying attention enough to correct me and put me in the place. I hope others are willing to do the same......

nee

more or less this is how you can imagine Nasi Campur - mixed rice with some side dishes though i only choose this simple things on my plate.